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Upcoming Events
JAN

22

TUE
Quilters Ministry
10:00 AM to 2:00 PM
Quilters Ministry - The quilting ministry at St. Andrew's exists primarily to provide comfort quilts to those seeking spiritual comfort in their lives. The quilters meet on the 4th Tuesday of the month from 10am - 2pm (Jan. 22 is the next meeting) - with a potluck lunch at noon. Ideas, projects, enthusiasm, and fellowship are shared by all. All are welcome and no skill or experience is necessary
JAN

23

WED
Choir Practice
7:30 PM to 8:30 PM
JAN

26

SAT
St. Benedict’s Community Dinner
3:00 PM to 5:00 PM
St. Benedict’s Community Dinner – Saturday, January 26th @ 3:00 p.m. at St. Benedict’s Episcopal Church. We serve a hot meal for the homeless and low-income people in our community.
JAN

27

SUN
CELEBRATION EARLY WORSHIP
8:30 AM to 9:30 AM
ADULT SUNDAY SCHOOL
9:30 AM to 10:30 AM
TRADITIONAL WORSHIP
11:00 AM to 12:00 PM
CHILDREN'S CHURCH
11:00 AM to 12:00 PM
FEB

03

SUN
CELEBRATION EARLY WORSHIP
8:30 AM to 9:30 AM
ADULT SUNDAY SCHOOL
9:30 AM to 10:30 AM
TRADITIONAL WORSHIP
11:00 AM to 12:00 PM
CHILDREN'S CHURCH
11:00 AM to 12:00 PM
Bible Search

Humor Corner

 

  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
  • Teacher: “Class we have only a half a day of school this morning” Students: Hooray! Teacher: “We have the other half this afternoon.”
  • Important Sign: “Do not walk past the end of the pier.”
  • A car stalled at the intersection. The light cycled through green, yellow and red several times. A policeman approached the driver and said: “Excuse me! But didn’t we have a color you liked.”
  • I have a large sea shell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
  • There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.
  • I got a new shadow. I got rid of the old one. It wasn’t doing what I was doing.
  • Right now I am having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
  • The nice thing about being senile. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
  • The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and doesn’t stop until you stand up to speak in public.
  • Sometimes I awake at night and ask: “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me: “This is going to take more than one night.”
  • My parents were so poor, they got married for the rice.
  • Hatchet—What hen does to an egg.
  • If a long dress is evening wear, What is a suit of armor? Silverware.
  • Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up which I will not put.
  • You know it’s a bad day, when your income tax refund check bounces.
  • Arcade - A kind of lemonade served on Noah’s Ark.
  • Deposed kings are a throne away.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather, It pays no attention to criticism.
  • Deposed kings are a throne away.
  • What do you get when you divide the diameter of a pumpkin by its circumference?  Pumpkin PI.
  • I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said stop going to those places.
  • Vegetarian: Native American definition of a lousy hunter.
  • If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
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