Humor Corner

 

  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
  • Teacher: “Class we have only a half a day of school this morning” Students: Hooray! Teacher: “We have the other half this afternoon.”
  • Important Sign: “Do not walk past the end of the pier.”
  • A car stalled at the intersection. The light cycled through green, yellow and red several times. A policeman approached the driver and said: “Excuse me! But didn’t we have a color you liked.”
  • I have a large sea shell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
  • There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.
  • I got a new shadow. I got rid of the old one. It wasn’t doing what I was doing.
  • Right now I am having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
  • The nice thing about being senile. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
  • The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and doesn’t stop until you stand up to speak in public.
  • Sometimes I awake at night and ask: “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me: “This is going to take more than one night.”
  • My parents were so poor, they got married for the rice.
  • Hatchet—What hen does to an egg.
  • If a long dress is evening wear, What is a suit of armor? Silverware.
  • Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up which I will not put.
  • You know it’s a bad day, when your income tax refund check bounces.
  • Arcade - A kind of lemonade served on Noah’s Ark.
  • Deposed kings are a throne away.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather, It pays no attention to criticism.
  • Deposed kings are a throne away.
  • What do you get when you divide the diameter of a pumpkin by its circumference?  Pumpkin PI.
  • I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said stop going to those places.
  • Vegetarian: Native American definition of a lousy hunter.
  • If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
   March 2019   
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